Things I do not understand

(feel free to add your own)

I do not understand

- Unobtainable goals (they should be dreams)
- Obtainable dreams (they should be goals)
- Thinking that life is like instant coffee

- Watching TV on a cellular phone

- Instant anything
- When your only comments are “OMG!!” or “did you really?”
- Text messaging instead of a phone call
- Believing that “virtual reality” is actually real

- Best friends (and they met a month ago)
- Teenagers (see all of the the above)
- Raising your kid to be the next Paris Hilton

- Thinking that your kid is "very mature"

- Allowing your kid to do "mature" things

- Thinking that parenting is out dated
- Grown women wearing Hollister t-shirts

- Fat girls wearing "skinny" jeans

- Sunglasses where the brand name logo is bigger than the lens itself

- Being a walking advertising board for a brand name

- Blondes with dark roots
- Being a walking advertising board for Botox

- Spandex and butt dimples

- Why is it that the only natural thing left on some women are their internal organs?

- Is stupidity a genetic defect or a happy coincidence?

I do not understand
- Love at first sight
- Love at second sight
- Blaming God for your problems
- Blaming society for your problems
- Not blaming yourself for your problems

- Not knowing what you stand for

- Not saying it like it is
- Pseudo-intellectuals
- Pseudo-artists
- Pseudo-anything
- Constantly excusing yourself for your mistakes

- Believing that having thumbs makes you a human being
- Convenience friendship (or marriage since we are in the subject)
- Un-commitments
- Un-promises

Nor do I understand
- Hollow chocolate

- Hollow people

- Specialty coffee

- Gourmet anything

- Driving an SUV and buying organic food

- Uncaged chicken eggs...who certifies them?

- The word "leatherette"

- The word "cute"

- Does the word "snob" mean anything anymore?

I do not understand
- Any word finishing with “ish”

- Why is everything "peachy"?

- People that say "it's a beautiful thing"

- People that start every sentence with "to be honest"

- People that spell the words while talking to you

- Believing that if they say things twice, you will understand better

- People that say "hellooo" while talking to you

- Driving slowly on the left lane because you are on the phone

- People that only talk about themselves

- Men that do not open the door for a lady

- A lady that gets mad when you open a door for her

- People that say "blah, blah, blah" while explaining something

- Needing to buy a "conversation piece"... if you are THAT lame, you should not talk

- When is "politically correct" going to be a synonymous of hypocrite?

I do not understand
- Any “wannabe”

- Faux anything, at least use the english word Fake

- Spinning rims (or worse, spinning hub caps...very "faux")

- Undercarriage neon lights

- White hip-hop dancers

- Puckering your lips while posing for a picture

- Belly button jewelry, what's next? ( I know...they are already there)

- Showing your "muffin top" to the world

- Thinking that is OK to dress semi-naked...specially if you are overweight

- Fake designer clothes, or should we call them "faux" designer clothes?

- Jay-Lo....a designer?

Nor do I understand
- People that stare at the menu at a fast food joint like they have never seen it before

- The reason for a 64oz cup

- Not being able to give back the correct change
- The label “Caution, for external use only. Do not ingest” on a shampoo or body lotion bottle
- The label “Caution, hot liquid” on a cup of coffee
- Believing that a good IQ is a single digit number
- Since Mexico is in the American continent, would that make “guacamole” an American food?

- Buying anything advertised on a "infomercial"
- People that do not understand when you say “stupidity should be painful”

- Why everybody wants to be so special?

- Isn't it time to require four restrooms in restaurants?

Finally, I really do not understand
- Idiots, in general

- Snobs, in general
- Teenagers, in general

- Mental midgets

- People that can not laugh at themselves

- Did I mention idiots in general?